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Days 16, 17 & 18

I almost didn't post again today, but I decided better to catch up now than to try to recall several days at once. And I don't want to fall out of the habit.

I was feeling very positive today. I went to get some work done at the high school and got to see several students I hadn't seen all summer. I'm giddy about having the choir room for my classes, and I'm really looking forward to living in such close proximity to work for the first time in my entire career! There are so many things with work that are really falling into place and I have so much to be grateful for. Especially considering how awful it felt a year ago.

My good day did not endure. When I got home I found out that the roof repair that was supposed to cost $400 is now going to cost $900. Not something I was expecting. Not something we can afford either. At one point I glanced at a bowl on a side table and desperately wished it was cereal. I almost never eat cereal. But in that moment cereal would have made me feel so much better. We don't even have any cereal.

This stress spiraled into a whole lot of other stress. We still don't have a solid moving date worked out yet and we can't ask for any help or rent a truck until we know when we can actually move. We also have a lot of other moving stuff that we have to handle but can't really do much about until we actually move. I also don't know if Charlotte got into the Spanish program. What if we end up with higher bills and no equity? What if I get fired? What if I have a heart attack from all the stress and just die on the spot?

As much as it sucks, I think it's kind of good that I'm having to cope with my stress with other means than food. I took a hefty dose of natural calm and looked through some #whole30success posts on Instagram. I feel a lot better now. I literally had the thought when I was upset and wanting to cry that I should just let the feelings happen. Just be sad because I'm sad. I did, and now I'm fine. I think this is a good thing?

It was also good that I managed to get my barbecue pulled pork in the crock pot this morning and it was seriously good for dinner. I had it over salad greens with some leftover grilled peppers and onions. This was by far the easiest meal I've made so far.

Yesterday we went to check out another carpet place in Portland and went out to dinner at Produce Row Cafe. It was a good call. I explained to the server that I was on an elimination diet and told him what I needed to avoid - most specifically I mentioned canola oil because everyone uses canola oil for everything. I ended up with a lovely salad with sliced steak, watermelon radishes, and pickled onions with a liberal amount of housemade chimichurri sauce slathered all over everything. I was so happy to have a meal that was actually satisfying I barely noticed anyone else's food. Except for french fries. I seriously miss french fries.

I think I'm starting to hit my stride finally. Cooking and meal planning is getting easier. Battling with my kids is getting easier. Now if I could just get moved and feel prepared for school to start I'd be in seriously fantastic shape.


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