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Day 11 & 12

I didn't want to blog last night. I managed to go to bed by 10 pm! And I think it was worth it because I woke up feeling so much better today.

Yesterday was pretty uneventful. Our power went out right as I was prepping dinner. Let me just say, it's really hard to cook with Archer whining and crying at me and begging for food. Paul usually runs interference so I can actually cook without another human wrapped around my leg. He's been on graveyard shift though and isn't always up in time to keep me leech free. It's been kind of rough. Fortunately, he's back on day shift next week!

Anywhoo...the power went out, and I still needed a couple of ingredients, and it was getting late. So I decided to store up what I had prepped, and we went to 5-guys.

I think where I've landed with my kids is to try to keep them whole-30 compliant as much as possible, but to choose my battles and to try to meet them halfway. In other words, at home, they don't have alternative options. But when we go out, I'll still try to make sure they have a choice to eat a vegetable and a protein, but I'll allow a few concessions as I deem worthy. At 5 guys, I let them have fries, just not as many as they usually have (Archer will ignore all other food and consume all the french fries), and I let them have a bun on their hamburger, but we ditched the cheese and I had them put pickles, grilled onions, and tomatoes on it. They're starting to come around with the onions. Not so much with the tomatoes. They didn't complain nearly as much leaving me less stressed, and I felt like they were at least eating something of substance.

I've discovered my Achilles heel. I can forgo sweets all day long. I've been finding myself craving salty crunchy things a whole lot lately. I've been feeding the salt-crunch monster with chicken skin cooked in the oven in a cast iron skillet with some sea-salt. I think I may need to reconsider this choice. Watching my family eat french fries was brutal. My mouth is watering thinking about them right now. And 5-guys french fries are everything you guys.  I hate their burgers, but I will absolutely suffer through one for the fries.

I did okay. I did not derail.

Today I felt much better after getting more sleep. It was much easier dealing with my kids. It was much easier feeding myself. We survived the ultimate test and went to our favorite coffee shop, Happyrock, today. I've been avoiding it until I can survive both kids whining about not getting their usual sugar/dairy bombs. It's one thing for me to adjust to drinking black coffee, but what the hell do you give kids who can't have sugar or dairy at a coffee shop?

I got a honey steamer with coconut milk with Charlotte (again, allowing some concessions while still trying to make steps in the right direction) and a coconut milk hot-chocolate for Archer with less chocolate than usual. Archer was satisfied. Charlotte was not. She went back and asked for more honey 3 times at least and complained through the entire drink. Part of me wishes I had less tenacious children. But I know their assertiveness will be a valued part of their personalities someday. Someday.

I've been pretty preoccupied with our upcoming move and I can't help but worry about how I'm going to survive it without pizza or other easy convenience foods. I may have to prep some stuff that I can eat easily so that everyone else can eat what they want. Moving is tough on a food schedule.

I've also been dreaming about the end and reintroducing food back into my diet. I had a bit of indigestion after my lettuce wrap burger yesterday. That feeling was a pretty normal thing before. It was really unpleasant to experience it after a pretty good hiatus. I've become so used to downing enzymes and papaya extracts to help me digest stuff and I haven't had to use any so far. It made me wonder, what if I really have to give up a lot of food groups when all is said and done? I feel like it's a toss-up. Yes, this way of eating is worth the quality of life that comes with it. But, that quality comes with sacrifices.

I guess I won't know what really bothers me until I start reintroducing foods back into my diet, but I am going to seriously cry if croissants give me stomach cramps. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the possibility that I will have to make some strong choices about whether certain foods are worth the side-effects. Yes, whole 30 has an end date (thus the appeal!), but finishing the detox doesn't mean I get to go back to eating whatever I want - unless, of course, I decide like being overweight, tired, and cranky all the time. I'm guessing that's probably not where I'm going to land though. Which means visualising life without as many croissants.

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