Skip to main content

Poo Day

Well, I was feeling so great about my progress and then my house of cards collapsed ever so slowly. I had the girl at the nail salon ask me if I was pregnant.

NO. JUST FAT. THANKS FOR ASKING.

This morning at dragon boat practice I kind of lost it. My back hurt because I can't afford to get it adjusted at the chiropractor, I couldn't breathe because my inhaler's almost empty because we can't afford for me to go to the doctor to refill the prescription. The boat was off balance so I had to lean to bury my blade which exacerbated the first two problems more. I also didn't have any wax for my paddle so I had to grip it harder which made me more tense and hurt my wrists. The last insult to injury is that I got seated in the back of the boat where the gunnel curves a bit and the seats are closer together and more narrow. The best part is that our coach filmed us today.

I've been really trying to push myself so that I don't get cut from races anymore. I show up to every practice. I work as hard as I can when I'm there. I go out of my way to do things to get better (including my calorie counting and asking for help from other paddlers whenever I can). I want to be an asset. So the fact that I probably looked like I wasn't trying on video was not very encouraging. The longer stretches of paddling really started to irritate my low back and my lungs and I had to stop to relieve the pressure a few times. Needless to say I was so mad and frustrated with myself for not being able to push through it, at least while we were being filmed, that I ended up crying. And then I was ashamed of myself for crying.

Typically boating has been a really great place to relieve stress. Today didn't offer much relief. The waiting game for this job that I want so badly is taking its toll on my nerves, and all of the things that depend on getting this job are starting to weigh down. Perhaps if I can learn to power through these kinds of passages in life I can learn to power through the pain when I'm boating too. I guess that's probably what sets successful people apart from the rest.

I didn't count my calories last night and I probably ate tons more than I should have but today is a new day and now I'll be motivated to spend the rest of the week fixing it. It's actually kind of frightening how big of an affect food has on us. If anything else influenced our mood, our health, our day-to-day living as much we'd be screwed!

Comments

  1. Make sure an take in everything one minute at a time. It's never as bad as you think it is. Your inward perception does not reflect what people actually think on the boat.

    Besides falling of the wagon with the weight loss process happens, cut yourself some slack. In the grand scheme of your weight loss one day taken in isolation will not matter.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh kiddo! I relate. Well, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

    Would you like to come over to Lake Oswego a couple nights to go on a couple mile walk with me?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I totally have been asked when I was due. I'm not pregnant - thanks lady! It was by a Walmart checkout clerk of all people too. I was wearing a white shirt. Guess who doesn't wear white shirts anymore?

    Cheer up Bethany! I think you are looking fab! You definitely are looking more toned since you started dragon boating. I think you're walking with better posture too.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 10

I got some much needed me time today. My mom came with me to look at countertops for the kitchen remodel that feels like is never going to happen and then took the kids so I could go to my chiropractor appointment without them. I love my mom.

I have been really stressed about our moving timeline, the start of school, and the money tied to all of it. I feel a bit paralyzed right now, there's not much I can really do until there's a bunch to do at once. It makes it kind of difficult to really enjoy my last few days of summer. So does not eating ice cream. Or anything that gives me joy.

I took advantage of the little bit of "me time" and went to Costco to replace the mass amounts of fruit my kids eat. (yes, I spend my "me time" grocery shopping) I'm already starting to dread having to feed them when they're teenagers. It was a bit more brutal than I had anticipated. Who the hell decided to put the pastries right next to the produce?! Really?! I could h…

Day 3

Today reached 106ºF outside. We don't have air conditioning. It sucked.

We stayed in to avoid the heat and left the house in the afternoon for my chiropractor appointment. I made sure to pack whole30 friendly snacks for me and the kids and took a very large cup of ice water.

I got my results from my x-rays last week and the scoliosis that was under control a year ago is back with a vengeance. (Yay for a year of having no time whatsoever to schedule an adjustment!) The good news is that it's treatable. The bad news is that treatment is expensive and I don't know if I can afford it. Yay stress.

After a very very long appointment at the chiropractor, I decided we should beat the heat at Ikea. We're in kind of a limbo period where I can't really do much to prepare for moving yet, but the Ikea kitchen planning tool online has kept me feeling like I can do something while we wait and I had some questions about cabinets anyway. It's therapeutic. But, yet another sourc…

Why Whole30?

I'll consider Monday my trial-run (although this proved a bit devastating for Charlotte). I didn't realize that pasture butter was only okay if clarified (milk solids are a no-no) and that pretty much all bacon has added sugar.

I procured the book from the library and dug in. Let me just say, this book feels like it was written by real people. There's a whole chapter dedicated to walking you through how you'll probably feel from day to day and I really like that. It reminds me of pregnancy books that tell you how your body may change each month and how your baby is growing. It's helpful to have an idea of how you may react to the changes and why.

"Day 4 to 5: Kill all the things  ...You walk into the kitchen and, upon being greeted by the smiling face of your significant other, you are suddenly overcome with the desire to punch them in the face for being so darn cheerful this early in the morning." They know me.

Having done every diet under the sun and sw…