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Will Power

There's this song I used to listen to on an old DC Talk cd that I always think of when I hear the words Will Power. I find it amusing.



Yesterday was a weird eating day in the life of Bethany. I was completely not hungry all day. I finally caved and had a slim fast (my new favorite breakfast lately because I'm too lazy to make anything) when my stomach started it's own gurgle symphony. At around 4:00 I realized I hadn't eaten still. So I went to the good old subway in the mall and had me a veggie sandwich and an oatmeal cookie. The cookie was more calories than the whole sandwich.

When I got to work at 8 I felt really sluggish and I realized, for probably the first time in my life, that I was aware of how my body was functioning based on what I'd eaten. My blood sugar was low. So I got food in the snack bar. The picture is how the snack bar feels to me. It's the point of no return! It will consume you!
I managed to do well for the entree, but I caved and got tater tots. It occurred to me that I couldn't remember the last time I ate fries. For an American, that's insane! And I decided that even though I've been really good at tracking calories, and even though I've allowed myself my little luxuries (like my cookie and some chocolate here and there) that if I wait until I'm murderous for greasy food, I won't be able to get back onto my calorie counting train when I've gone crazy and eaten everything in sight. So, even though I didn't want to sabotage myself, I let myself enjoy something greasy. And they were really delicious. The best part is that I enjoyed them way more than I probably did the last time I ate french fries.

I weighed myself today expecting to feel bloated from my salty greasy indulgence. Surprisingly I was down a little more! In about 4 more pounds I'll be down to where I was a year ago for our wedding and then I'll really start to feel like I'm making significant progress. For some reason I've always had it in my head that losing the weight you gain back should be easier than losing weight you haven't lost before...if that makes any sense. The harsh reality is that all weight loses the same. So this time I have to make sure that body fat I lose is for good!

Comments

  1. LauraAugust 14, 2010 at 4:00 PM

    I love the tater tot button! But even more the DC Talk song! I totally forgot about that....maybe for the best.

    I am rooting for you!

    ReplyDelete

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