Skip to main content
I hate being fat. I hate trying to not be fat. I hate the process. I hate that it never has an end result. I hate not being able to afford the things that work. I hate it.


  1. :(
    I kind of understand the feeling, actually.. I always think I'm going to try and lose weight, and then I try a little bit, and nothing happens, and I get frustrated and stop. I wouldn't say you can't afford the things that work, though, because all my friends who HAVE lost weight haven't really spent money on something fancy, except one or two who did weight watchers, which I don't know how much it costs but it doesn't seem like it's probably prohibitively expensive. I think mostly the idea is a balanced combination of watching what you eat, and getting a lot of the right kind of exercise. I'm just not dedicated enough to do either apparently.

  2. I totally relate with this post. I hate it too. I tried playing racquetball every night, it didn't work, I tried yoga, didn't work. The only thing that's worked thus far is the Couch to 5K. I've lost 10 pounds in a month and a half!! I know you can find the right thing, and it will work!

  3. I think everyone relates to this on some level. It always feels for me like somehow, even after the long road (that I'm not nearly far enough down) I'm just going to be fighting the same battle on a different field. In the end, even more than I hate being fat, I hate it that other people don't have to try nearly so hard not to be.

    But you and me... we're going to find things that work. We're going to give as good as we get. And we'll come out swinging even when we don't want to. The silver lining about three steps forward/two steps back... at least you always keep one step ahead. ;)


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Round 2 Day 16

I wish this post had as much positive enthusiasm as the last, but it's been kind of a difficult week. I woke up this morning with a mild headache feeling like I had a hangover. I couldn't think straight and  just felt worn out. I put in for a sub for the morning and went back to bed. After some cold brew and Tylenol I forced myself to teach my afternoon classes, but I'm tired and still feel the pressure on my skull.

Yesterday I woke up in a rage. Rage over the grocery shopping I spent the ENTIRE weekend trying to take care of. Rage over the food I couldn't eat to calm the rage. Rage over how I can't control anyone but myself. Rage over the stupidly over-positive encouraging crap in the day-to-day book I've been using. Shut up book! I'm mad and I want to be mad! I don't want to be told how I can fix it! I just want to be mad!

These seem to be the monologues that keep going around and around in my head.

Angry Feminist Monologue
When did all of the grocery …

Round 2 - Day 1

Happy New Year! I am so relieved to see 2017 come to a close. It was a long, tough, satisfying year and I am happy to be done. I think the two things that were the most life changing last year were moving into our new house and the first Whole30 I completed.

It's been four months since I finished my first Whole30. I remember my delightful barista, Kristina, saying "It's so hard, but so worth it." And I couldn't describe it better. I have tried so many things to lose weight and keep it off and nothing has ever permeated my consciousness like this has. I think about what I'm eating basically always. I haven't gained any of the weight back that I lost even though I haven't considered myself on a diet since September. I am also hyper-aware of how foods affect me.

December was sort of a free-fall. We went to Disneyland and I made the conscious decision to enjoy myself. Disneyland is already a sugar wonderland most of the year, but add in the Christmas them…

Round 2 Day 8

Today was an important day. Today, just now actually, I realized that my energy levels might be better. Here's a highlights list of things I did today:

got up when my alarm went off - wut?ate breakfast at my desk rather than at my kitchen counter where I...updated the opera on tap websiteprepped and packed my lunches for the rest of the weekmade a phone call I'd been putting off to the dress/tuxedo company packed and put return dresses in my car to take to the post officere-taped numbers on my middle school students' chairs (helps me yell at them more efficiently - you go to chair 10!)wrote a sight-singing exercise on the board 15 minutes before my students showed up (usually doing this when they walk in)ate kale salad while teaching my class and didn't cave and show a videoupdated the lcrmea websitesent an email about solo and ensemblegot my paperwork turned in to set up my account so I could send the email about solo and ensemblerewrote a solo &; ensemble flyer/re…