Monday, February 22, 2010

Dear Cheese,

Dear Cheese,
I have been thinking about writing this letter to you for awhile now. It's never easy to say what I'm about to say. I must inform you of the unhealthy level our relationship has reached. I love you now more than ever, and yet I have decided that it would be best for both of us to see less of each other. You might be wondering why.

Over the years I have grown to admire and understand your many forms. You thrill my senses with your creaminess, your many varieties of textures and flavors are amazing and I love that you get along well with others like sandwiches and burritos. You are even strong enough to stand on your own. I like that so much about you cheese. It's just that in spite of how delightful you are, you have been unhealthy for me. My thighs have gotten wider, and I have much unwanted cellulite and belly fat. If only you weren't so high in fat. Then our love could be uninhibited. But alas, I cannot allow myself to give in to your gloriousness without restraint any longer.

So, cheese, I have decided that in spite of all of your wonderful qualities, we need to see less of each other. I know you don't intend to hurt me. I know you were just doing what you do best, and that is to taste good. But I can't allow myself to continue the frequency of this unhealthy relationship. Sure, we will see each other from time to time. I hope we can still be friends even. But we can't keep going on like this. I will miss you being a part of my daily life.

I know you will understand.



1 comment:

  1. Love this! I should really write a "Dear Cheese" letter too...really more like a "Dear Dairy Products" letter. :)