Sunday, August 23, 2009

Suck

I was so excited to go to yoga this morning. I didn't get to go yesterday because of work, and I've been kind of sore so I was looking forward to stretching some of my soreness out. I got there on time, and there was even a really pretty song on the classical music station on the way there. I put my mat down early and sat outside the room to wait for class. I went in to lay down and acclimate to the heat. People were still coming in and getting ready for class. When I stood up to start, I found that a woman had put her mat directly in front of mine so I couldn't see what I was doing in the mirror at all (very important). I figured I'd trudge along and do the best I could. But then I realized further in that the people next to me were so close that I couldn't stretch without being distracted by trying not to hit them. The class was kind of full. The distraction started to make me angry and then I started getting frustrated with my limited ability to do the poses properly. Finally I just got angry and upset. I moved my mat toward the back of the room (which you're not really supposed to do) so that I could have some more space hoping I would calm down a little bit. I sat down and tried working on some of my stretches that way and then the instructor came and told me to try it standing. This pushed me over the edge and I left the room crying. After I'd collected myself I came back to the class. My motivation to really push myself was pretty much gone so I just tried to get through it. I managed to get to the end of class and left immediately. I still feel pretty good now, but that really sucked. It also is starting to really suck being the fat kid in class. Everyone else manages to get themselves into all of the poses except me. I end up spending most of my time just trying not to fall over. But ultimately I still feel great, so I'm going to keep going. Hopefully I'll lose enough body fat to actually be able to get into some of the positions.

2 comments:

  1. You can do this Beth! I wish I could go with you. I really need to get into shape so that my back will get better. But it's hard to get into shape when I'm in pain. I vicious cycle!

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  2. Dude, I was the biggest one in my yoga class too. It was a little embarassing, but the teacher was so nice, and she was so proud that I kept coming every week, that I just pushed on. Sometimes I had to sit down to take a breather, or stretch when they were doing a pose I knew I totally couldn't do. But then I was able to kick up into a headstand, which a lot of skinny people in the class, including my sister, couldn't do. It was a matter of balance rather than size. Something like that will happen to you, and then you'll feel awesome :) Keep it up!

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