Skip to main content

Getting Positive

I'm not sorry to report that I've just polished off an english muffin topped with Kenny & Zukes pastrami and a few slices of smoked sharp cheddar. Not sorry at all. Actually, it was pretty much amazing. What I am sorry about is the bowl of ice cream I ate a couple hours ago followed by a piece of bread from Great Harvest. I wouldn't feel so bad except that before I went and got myself my bowl of ice cream I thought to myself, I don't even really want it, I just know that it's there and thus I'm going to have some.  Halfway through eating it I stopped enjoying it, and I should have just tossed the rest. But I didn't.

I'm watching extreme makeover weight-loss edition right now. The girl on the show is about 300 pounds overweight and has come up with every excuse in the book to sabotage herself. As I'm listening to excuse after excuse it's really easy to see that none of them hold water and eventually she's going to have to deal with her demons and just effing do what she's supposed to do. So why do I let myself make the same excuses? What her trainer is finding is that her biggest obstacle is positivity. When she gets positive she succeeds. Perhaps I need to take some of this away for myself.

Last week was an interesting adventure in hormone-land. Typically when I hit my pms wall it's a couple days of extreme depression followed by the insane cravings for chocolate and salt and then I wake up completely fine and wonder why I was ever so crazy. All-in-all it's about 3 or 4 days of nuttiness. This last round completely caught me off-guard. I was super tired and lethargic, (the humidity doesn't help) and not too depressive as far as I could tell. I got a call Thursday morning that I'd missed my physical therapy appointment. That's when I hit my low. I ended up crying on the phone because I felt bad for missing it and because I really wanted to go. My therapist called later in the evening to chat and talk about my appointment next week and it was all I could do to keep it together.

My therapist wanted me to e-mail her my food journal every day and I was doing it with the lose-it app. Problem is that when I knew I wanted to just have a day off the books (like my anniversary) I just wouldn't log anything. Giving myself that wiggle room has always been a problem. As soon as I stop tracking, I stop tracking. I'm going to talk to her at my next appointment about how I can do better and about doing my exercises at the gym instead of at home since they pretty much never happen at home.

I'm going to get past this! Right now I'm teetering between 191 and 192 lbs. I'm going to make it my goal to get under 190 in the next 10 days. This means I have to not only track my meals, I have to actually stay within my calorie ranges and get my exercise in!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Things I've Learned from the Sims 3

I've been playing an overabundance of Sims 3 the last few days. It's kind of a weird addiction because you're living life, but you're not living life. Anyway I had a realization that I've had many times already but I had it again. You don't get anything you don't work for.

In the game you can improve your sims skills by having them spend time practicing different skills. There's several like cooking, playing guitar, charisma, and fitness. The different sims you make can have personality traits that improve their ability to learn different skills but ultimately they have to practice to obtain any of them.

Even though it's a simulation of reality it's probably more honest than actual reality.  The point being, how many times have I tried to tell myself that I just have to find another way to get healthy because the thing I'm doing isn't working. The reality is that it probably is working I just have to keep doing it and keep improving my s…

Warrior 3 FTW

This yoga stuff is starting to really grow on me. Tonight I made it to my third class with the same instructor at 24 hour. I decided to put my mat about halfway back the room right next to the window. There was a little patch of mirror so I could see myself but not the whole time.

I was really surprised at how much I've progressed in such a short time. I think I'm starting to understand the flow of the movement which really helps. I also know where I'm supposed to end up when she calls out a pose like warrior 1, 2, or 3, or low versus high lunge. I was able to actually go into a full warrior 3 pose with my right leg as a base! I held it for probably a good 10 seconds before I started to lose my balance and had to catch myself but I was pretty proud of myself for getting my leg in a straight line behind me.

Then she had us try standing split pose. I'll take my victory with warrior 3 thank you very much!


I still haven't lost any weight, but I am really feeling good a…

Why Yes I'd Like Fries With That

Charlotte will be 2 in June. This means that I have been trying for almost 2 years to shed the 40 pounds I gained in pregnancy. I'm halfway there, but these last 20 pounds are a bitch to lose.

So far I've adjusted my diet toward more whole grain and power types of foods like chia seeds, local honey, fruits and vegetables, and healthy oils like coconut and safflower oil. My kitchen pantry is like a showcase of Trader Joes, New Seasons and Bob's Red Mill. I've also been pretty good about going to yoga once a week. But this is obviously inadequate.

I know this isn't particularly profound but I've been realizing that your body is the physical appearance of what you do to take care of it. Exercise tones and shapes it. Healthy foods make it glow. Stress wears it out. Trans-fats make it flubby. Throw in a late-night visit to McDonalds and more than a few trips to starbucks (why would I want it nonfat and sugar free? I don't want to taste the coffee!), a not-so-rec…