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Days 28-30+

I made it and I couldn't write about it because I couldn't find the mouse for my computer. I still haven't found it, but I borrowed a stand-in until I can find the real mouse.

I strongly recommend that you don't do a whole 30 while you're moving. It was incredibly hard. It's still incredibly hard. We got pizzas for our moving helpers and I couldn't eat a bite of it. I was bitter. Especially when I had to go pick up the pizzas and drive them around.

I had a celebratory glass of white wine and a bunch of tater tots at McMenamins on the final day. It also happened to be the second day of school and we had an Opera on Tap show (which I did not have to deal with my kids at). I was in a VERY good mood all evening. I weighed myself the same morning and discovered I'd lost 12 pounds. I also feel like I'm less bloated and gassy, my skin looks great, I've had much more even hormonal shifts, and I feel like I'm less anxious and reactive. So...pretty much this was a fantastic decision.

Since I finished, it's been a little easier to lighten up a bit on the details. I'm trying to stay on as much as possible, and I'm trying to be super aware of how I react to different things I'm eating. Tater tots made my stomach feel terrible the next morning. I didn't even want to eat and my whole day suffered without a big breakfast. So far I've been okay with rice bran oil, powdered lentils, wine, a bit of agave and honey, and smaller doses of canola oil. I also had some gluten free chicken nuggets from Trader Joes that didn't seem to cause much trouble, but I don't want to eat them all the time. I want to try to stay on the program as much as possible while allowing myself some things here and there. I feel reluctant to eat anything with gluten or dairy or anything super processed. I feel like I'm better off without them and I really want to continue to be in control of what I'm choosing to eat and why. Although I'm not ready to say goodbye to cheese forever.

It's been kind of hard trying to eat the last week. My house is in complete chaos until we can get carpet installed (next Tuesday!) and our kitchen cabinets built and installed. I haven't really been able to put anything away yet. I have a few basics for my meals which are mostly just eggs and rotisserie chicken, but other than that, my kitchen is a total mess. My sink is stained with paint and painting supplies. There's garbage everywhere. There are boxes stacked to the ceiling. This sucks. I keep having to tell myself that it will all be amazing in a few more weeks, I just have to be patient. And it will. And I do. But at the moment, it's making me feel like I'm losing my mind.

At the moment, I'm drinking a glass of Rosé after a rather rough day. I had kale for lunch so at least I was fueled properly. I had to pick up my kids and go to the chiropractor. My chiropractor is a really nice guy and they are incredibly patient with me and my kids, but it was out of control today. My kids wouldn't not just settle for playing with toys. When I came out of one of my therapies, they had cleared everything off the coffee table in the waiting area and were laying across it pretending to swim while yelling and screaming. There were toys everywhere. I was mortified. They were both in tears by the time we left and I had to end my appointment before they finished all of the treatments.

I needed to go to the Home Depot to get more slats for the blinds on our sliding glass door, so we got dinner at the Panera next door. They behaved okay while we were eating. Charlotte did her homework and eventually, I gave Archer my phone so he'd stop screaming and crawling on the benches and tables. I had the French onion soup without any cheese or bread and the green goddess salad which I'm sure had some trace amounts of sugar and canola oil but wasn't the worst option.

At Home Depot, both kids kept yelling and laughing and fighting and screaming the entire time. I about lost my mind. It was lucky a kind man at the checkout took pity on me and gave me a discount as well as helping me get my stuff out to my car. I suppose the sight of a frazzled exhausted woman pushing a car cart of screaming children while also dragging a giant box on a flatbed cart behind her was enough for him to take pity. I was almost in tears. BUT, with my hormeones being better and my anxiety being better I didn't have the normal level of panic attack that I would have had a month ago in the same situation. It was a completely awful situation, but I was able to get through it better.

Now my kids are probably drowning each other in the tub so I can have my glass of wine and catch up on my blog. I put a bunch of epsom salts in the water so they'd be good and tired for bed time. Fingers crossed!

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