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Reality Check

I've been thinking lately about whether I want to continue with this blog or not. I've been keeping it for a couple years now and you would think that with all of the ups and downs I would have gotten somewhere by now. The sad reality is that I've gotten pretty much nowhere. I just can't ever seem to push past the hump and get to a healthy weight. There's always some excuse or something holding me back.

Years of dieting, tracking my calories and points, trying new exercise, trying to find something that will really stick have started to wear me out. I'm feeling motivated again but I can't help but wonder, is it enough? The prospect of trying to track my food intake and trying to exercise with little to no support at home is daunting at best.

Our bathroom scale has had a dead battery for probably two months now. I have no idea how much I weigh right now, and other than my clothes not looking as good around the deflated inner tube that is my belly, I kind of don't really care. So I have to wonder, after all of this time wanting to look hot and feel good in my own skin, do I really want it badly enough? Bad enough to just get it effing taken care of? Bad enough to stop eating so much food? Bad enough to get off my couch and do something about it?

I guess my actions will always answer for me. Right now I have no excuses, just the results of the choices I make every day. If I made different choices, I'd have a different body. End of story.

The answer to whether I'm done blogging or not? No, I'm not done blogging. Because I'm not ready to give up yet.

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