Week 1 Day 1 Blues

EVIL SOCK EATING SHOES!

At least that's how my shoes feel still. Maybe it's a Nike thing.

I tried to do W1D1 again today. This is the 4th try. I'm still not getting through it and I'm starting to get frustrated with the whole thing. But I need a goal and this is a doable one.
My feet are unevenly flat. I did a foot scan and my left is flatter than my right. So I think what I need is more arch support in my right shoe and to just break in my left shoe. My feet and calves hurt a whole lot less than they did with the other shoes. And my ankle doesn't ache at all. Good things.

The bad thing is that it's raining. I tried using a different treadmill, but I hated it. So I braved the rain. The back of my pants are soaked. It feels like as soon as I fix one problem, there's another one to deal with. I can't afford to keep up!
So I made a runner's wishlist and posted it as a sidebar thing. I'm sure there will always be something in it as I can never really figure this all out.

I feel like there's 3 really good things happening with this new workout choice.
I think the best thing about doing this is that I'm bound and determined to get somewhere. I had to sub yesterday and the day before and I won't run in the dark (daylight is pretty much the school day), so I used my downtime to walk laps around the classroom. I walked for half an hour. It's not the workout I wanted to do, but it's more than I would have done before.
The workout's forcing me to take days off. And I think that's what's going to make the difference in the long haul. I haven't burnt out on it yet, and it's not a chore. I don't have to sit and reason with myself whether I'm going to do something good for myself today. I just know that every other day, I'm going to run. The down days in between I spend wishing I could run. So when I get to run days, there's no negotiation because I'm so ready to do it again! Even when my run sucks (like today!), now I'm just waiting for Friday so that I can try again.
The last thing is that I am not gauging my success on changes in my body. If anything I've probably gained weight. I'm not worrying about food. I'm not worrying about my clothing size. I'm not weighing myself. I'm just doing what I'm doing. And that's all it has to be. I'm not letting the measure of my success be any of these things. I think that's where I've failed so many times in the past. These things take tons of time. Measuring the success of my exercise by the immediate gratification of the changes I see in my body is only going to work as long as I see changes. But if I don't see changes, I can't let that stop me.

I am entertaining the idea of going veggie for a week just to see how it feels. I almost made it through the day yesterday without having any meat, but as soon as I realized this, I ate some meatballs just to satisfy my worry about not having had much protein. It's amazing how we can convince ourselves we "need" something regardless of wether it's true or not. I'm not going to commit to this yet though. I think I want to wait until I can afford some groceries again and until I've run out of meat in my house. There's not much and we get paid soon, so it probably won't be long before I try this.