Skip to main content

Gluten Free Day 10

It's been 10 days since I started my juice cleanse and have been gluten free. Thursday I drove with Charlotte out to the beach for my delightful friend Bri's birthday beach weekend. I nearly cried for having to leave earlier than I wanted to for work. I managed to eat pretty healthy and I avoided gluten too until Friday morning. My friend Caitlin made the most amazing strata for breakfast. Faced with the choice between strata and.... well nothing, I chose to have a small piece. It was pretty worth it...until I saw pictures of my my wide butt running down the beach in stretch pants, rolls of my belly protruding under my tank top between the elastic bands of my belt and my sports bra. Images that had me nearly sick with disgust at my own appearance. I don't blame the strata. The strata was not the culprit. So what is?

When I got home and weighed myself I wasn't surprised to see that the scale was moving up instead of down. I figured I'd gain some back from what I lost on my cleanse, but I didn't expect to see it continue to move up. 

Tonight was frustrating. After the market I went to meet my family at Red Robin for dinner to celebrate my nephew's birthday (I had to miss his party because of the market). On the drive there I contemplated what I should eat and narrowed it down to two possible choices. I looked over their gluten free menu offerings when I got there and chose to get the bruschetta chicken sandwich just without the bun. 

While we were waiting for food I decided to download the livestrong app to see if I couldn't get a better idea of why I'm not losing any weight. I feel like I've really cut down on my portion sizes and considering the number of calories I've refused in avoiding wheat and gluten I thought there had to be something I'm missing. I put in my food for the day into the app and discovered that according to their calculations I've been eating far more calories than I should for weight loss. No wonder. Red robin fries and honey mustard dressing didn't help.

It was about then that my meal came: a sad greyish piece of chicken patty with fake grill marks covered in melted cheese next to a pile of wilting lettuce. In the middle of the plate was a heaping plastic cup of "garlic aoli" which is a fancy way of saying mayonnaise. I took one look at the plate and gave it back to the waiter saying I wasn't hungry anyway. This was the item suggested in their gluten free menu. I expected at least a tomato or something. So I sat guzzling water while everyone else enjoyed their meal. Even though I really wasn't hungry it was still frustrating to sit on the verge of tears not participating in the act of eating, and more frustrating that I felt like I had gotten a handle on my diet and wasn't even close.

I've hit my wall. I'm tired of being this size, I'm tired of being tired. If I have to eat nothing but carrot sticks and kale to get my fat ass to look good in a pair of jeans I will do it. I will run, I will sweat, I will not eat. End of story. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Oh why not?

I try not to post too frequently - like twice a day - because I don't want anyone to stop reading my blog! But I can't help myself. I'm watching the biggest loser. This is dangerous for me because it's so inspiring that I want to get out and do all this crazy stuff to get healthier. I think that what I'm doing is probably sufficient for the time being. However I do have some different things I want to try once I've gotten a bit further with my couch to 5k program. Here's my list so far: Water Aerobics - I started to do this once and I loved it, but then I had a bunch of snafus that prevented me from getting into it regularly. I think that these can be resolved now since we've moved and I got a card for the local parks and rec. Some form of Martial Arts - I did this some as a teenager and I really enjoyed it. Problem is that it's not cheap and it's a bit embarrassing to do as an adult in a beginner class. I'm sure they have classes for t...
6 comments
Older Posts >

If only I had stuck with it

While we were in Los Angeles this last weekend we went to visit Paul's cousin Emily (Hi Emily!), her husband Nick, and their daughter Kate. She had asked me how the exercise was going and I told her that it was hard but I needed to stick it out. We ended up talking about all of the things we've started but quit somewhere along the way. And I started thinking about what it would be like if I'd just stuck to weight watchers or an exercise routine or any of the things I've started that would have had me looking and feeling better by now. There's a book by Malcolm Gladwell called "Outliers". Gladwell talks about a study by Anders Ericsson that shows most people that have mastered a skill have had to spend 10,000 in their life up to that point practicing and working on that skill. I've always considered this relevant to my career but I've never really related it to my weight loss goals. But now I am. If I want to not only improve and succeed at takin...
5 comments
Older Posts >

Tedium

I'm getting kind of tired of tracking my calories. It's become more tedious than it was originally. I think this is partly because I went three days without tracking. Now it feels like a daily chore. I have incentives however to continue. I may as well just come out and say that Paul and I are starting to research and learn about having babies. ***WE ARE NOT PREGNANT YET***. (everyone always asks whenever I mention the "b" word) Nor do we expect to be for at least a few months if not longer depending on how things work out. There are several factors to consider such as whether I get this job in the fall, whether we can afford the birth we want right away, where we're going to put a baby, and other things as well. That said, I need to get healthy for any of this to matter. My biggest concern at this point is that I might have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I've read about four different books that describe the symptoms and I match every single one of ...
4 comments
Older Posts >