Fear and Loathing the Scale

I haven't weighed myself for probably a week now. It's usually the first thing I do when I get up in the morning (after I relieve myself of extra water weight of course). I kind of think I want to wait until I go to WW this Friday to find out how bad the verdict is. I tried to pack less food and healthier food than I normally do for camping. Although you can only be so healthy when you're camping. A whole package of pinwheels doesn't help. - on a side note, Paul ate half my pinwheels and a whole bag of chocolate chip cookies and I guarantee you he'll lose this week the bastard! - But I didn't eat the entire time. And that's usually what happens when you don't hike or fish or bike or swim or play. I did visit the Austin hotsprings though, so that was an activity if not very active.
At any rate, I made small strides.
I had meant to go to yoga tonight. I really miss it. The thing with yoga is that I get really really frustrated when I'm there. I can't hardly do half the poses properly because of my own body being in my way. But I can tell that it's made a difference. I frickin chopped wood this weekend. Like with a giant axe and everything. I chopped through a small tree trunk that had fallen down and I hauled a bunch of dead wood to use for kindling. Mountain Woman! But on previous trips, I wouldn't have bothered, and the novelty of it would have worn off with my fatigue way sooner. I feel stronger. Of all of the exercise endeavors that I have ventured on, I have never really felt stronger. It's kind of weird actually. As much as I keep telling myself that I just have to be patient with myself, I should really start to believe it. Because in spite of how lame I feel compared to the other people in my yoga class, I'm at my personal best. Which is great!

In spite of all of this positivity, I ate McDonalds tonight (I had a coupon okay!) and completely spaced going to my yoga class. I was so mad because I didn't go last night due to being tired from camping. I was gung ho to go today. But I forgot. So I made Paul go on a 20 minute walk with me. At least I got some exercise. I also realize now why I have not gone on 20 minutes walks in my neighborhood. There are no streetlights on our street. It's so dark you can't even see the ground in front of you unless a car goes by! Perhaps the new apartment will have better evening walking conditions.

Moving should be some good exercise. I've kind of given up on the whole eating thing. I get annoyed right now at even having to try. I don't get the smug sense of accomplishment when I've chosen the healthier option. I'm annoyed more than anything. So activity is my saving grace right now until I feel less bitter about what I should eat. Strangely enough, I was watching a tv show about crazy women on crazy diets, and the raw foods diet sounds like it's not so bad. Well, actually, it sounds like a hell of a lot of work and effort just to make food that you can eat. But what you actually end up consuming sounds really good. I was thinking maybe I would do raw food just one or two days a week. Just so that I could feel like I was getting something healthy to compete with the justification of McDonalds on other days. You have to juice and blend and dehydrate lots though. I could deal with liquid diet days, as long as they were consistant. Hell, blending a smoothie for a meal is tons easier than trying to figure out what to cook for dinner most nights. I think this is something I may try to pursue after I'm employed and moved though. Right now would just make it a chore rather than a help.