My Path to Outer Skinniness

I can get my recently saudered wedding ring on and off without having to use water or lotion. I haven't been able to do that since it was done about a month ago. This means my finger is skinnier. Yay!

This may become a reoccurring theme on my blog. "I can't believe what I ate this Saturday!"Perhaps I will make it a theme post entitled Saturdays. Anyway, this is the second week that my Saturday has been an eating disaster. Here is the story: I had to reschedule all my voice students to Sunday so I could attend the all day "retreat" (aka really long rehearsal) for the Portland Symphonic Choir. I didn't write in my calendar that the time had changed, so I ended up getting there at 9 instead of 10 when it was actually going to start. I had eaten a high fiber toaster muffin with a veggie sausage patty and a slice of cheese - we're talking probably 10 grams of fiber here in this breakfast - so I was really not hungry enough to search for a snack. So I went for a 45 minute walk. It was kind of a treat because I love the neighborhoods in southeast Portland and I don't really walk over there since I don't live there. Anyway, I was so proud of my really...

So, I managed to reach my goals last week and I lost 1.8 pounds. Which is as good as two for me because it changes the main number on my tracker. This makes 12 pounds total (in 10 months) and thus I only need to lose four more to get back to what I'd lost originally. If I keep this up and lose around 2 a week, I will be back to where I was and only need to lose another 3 to get to 10%. This is my goal by November. We'll see. This brings me to my next revelation. I realized this week that every time I set goals for myself with my eating and exercise I make them very specific. This likely stems from my volleyball days where my coaches spent a good amount of time helping us learn to set measurable and attainable goals and then into my teacher days where my advisor/professor helped us learn to write specific measurable objectives for our students. This is a great skill if you're trying to teach kids to identify a perfect 5th or are working on the perfect serve. But I see now th...

Okay, maybe not epic. I always forget which oil to use in baking - vegetable versus canola. Unfortunately I used canola, and the brownies I was so excited about having (I even worked out my points to have the tiny chunk I could afford) kind of suck. Paul likes them just fine so he can eat the whole pan. But lame! I wish I hadn't used my five points for something so unsatisfying. I kept thinking it was because I used the spray and that the brownie nearer the middle would be better. That may have been true if I hadn't mixed it into the batter! Duh! The good news is that we got chocolate peanut butter ice cream at fred meyer and walked to fred meyer to get it. So I got a fifteen minute walk in and could feel it in my thighs when we got back. Perhaps the 6 points per serving isn't so bad if you have to walk half a mile to get it. I have a feeling that it's going to be a taunting monster in my freezer though.

Today is the fourth day of my previous goal setting. So far, not terrible. Saturday was kind of a let-down because my mom's birthday party was a bunco party and thus swimming in bowls of candy and ice cream. I was good with the ice cream, but bad at the toquitos and really bad at the candy dishes on the tables. So I just wrote disaster on my tracker for that evening and decided to start over on Sunday. It's really hard to go out places because you really have no idea what you are consuming. I ate a polenta cake with goat cheese and wild mushrooms last night which was probably the healthiest option on the happy hour menu where I was at, but I think it may have been fried, and I'm not sure how fatty the gravy was that was all over it and extra delicious. It's amazing how many points things are when you actually find out too! I had baked popcorn chicken for lunch today and a little handful - maybe 10 small pieces - was 8 points! I so did not expect that. I thought maybe 5 ...

I saw this on Rachel Ray and I've made it twice now. Ingredients 2-4 frozen, peeled bananas a splash of whipping cream or half and half any other frozen fruit you feel like Blend it all in the blender and behold all fruit ice cream! I added frozen figs this time around and it's awesome. I imagine strawberries or apricots or blueberries would be amazing as well! And it's a bowl of frozen fruit. No sugar, not nearly as much fat as real ice cream. Good times!

I went to my weight watchers meeting last night and I realized something. When I eat things I know are going to sabotage my efforts I feel a sense of rebellion and control. It's as if I'm saying to myself, "I'm in charge of what goes in, and if I want cake, then I'm going to have it because I'm the one that decides." It's gotten to the point where I don't even stop and think about how I'm supposed to feel guilty about having had it. I feel entitled. The problem is, this form of self empowerment isn't helping anyone and it's not proving anything except that I have no self control. I realize now that what I need to do is to be better than that. I have a huge arsenal of knowledge when it comes to nutrition and how your body functions. I know more about how your body processes a calorie and absorbs nutrients than most people. With knowledge and age supposedly comes maturity. In this case, maturity is when you know better and you make your c...

I just weighed myself and I've gained more weight. I thought my jeans felt kind of tight, and it's nearly impossible to get my wedding ring on and off. Then again I was weighing myself after changs and cake. I realize that with the stress of moving, I haven't been eating all that well. And usually when I don't eat well, at least I stop and think about my portions. But today I ate a hot dog (about 12 points on ww), a milkshake at Burgerville (probably about 10 points), changs - and I usually do good, but I totally wasn't thinking today - so probably 30 points - and then I had cake - about 8 points. Where did my diet go? I even had TWO pieces of cake. I put sesame oil on my food and had noodles both times! These are things I've been better about in the past so that I was at least maintaining the weight I lost. Part of it is rebelling against having to be aware of what I eat, but part of it is that I'm just not thinking. Rebellion is not worth being fat. Tomorr...

I've decided that perhaps being a wedding planner is good for my weight loss. You work a 12 hour day, you're walking and running all day long, you don't have time to eat, and then you sleep really well. Not good for every day though. I have cuts all over my feet from my shoes and cuts inside my legs where they rubbed together and my ankles feel like they're revolting. My house is starting to look more like a house. Starting. In the midst of throwing this wedding, I've been trying to finish moving. There's still tons to do, but I can almost see my kitchen counters at least. I peeled a potato and shredded it with my mixer attachment and made hash browns with a fried egg. My first time using my stove and cooking real food in my new kitchen! Now I just have a bunch of errands to run and then symphonic choir rehearsal tonight. Sushi for dinner! Yay Sad thing is that tomorrow ends my trial at the yoga college and I can't afford to keep going until I get some incom...

I think I climbed up and down the steps to my apartment no less than 50 times today. Given that there's about 20 steps, that's about 1000 steps I did. Not to mention the carrying things each way and the unloading them into the new place. Even though my low-cost trial at the yoga college will be over soon, I don't feel guilty about missing today. I'm so tired! Moving is a freaking huge amount of exercise! The downside is that I consumed so many calories (chili-cheese fries at Carl's Junior anyone?) to probably blow an entire day of exercise out of counting. Tomorrow is a new day.

I decided to make my blog pretty. The photo is one I took in my voice teachers garden. I really like it for some reason. I also figured out how to look up color hex codes to make the colors more interesting. These colors make me think of yoga and relaxing. So they shall hopefully inspire! I also added a bikini goal to my bucket list.

I haven't weighed myself for probably a week now. It's usually the first thing I do when I get up in the morning (after I relieve myself of extra water weight of course). I kind of think I want to wait until I go to WW this Friday to find out how bad the verdict is. I tried to pack less food and healthier food than I normally do for camping. Although you can only be so healthy when you're camping. A whole package of pinwheels doesn't help. - on a side note, Paul ate half my pinwheels and a whole bag of chocolate chip cookies and I guarantee you he'll lose this week the bastard! - But I didn't eat the entire time. And that's usually what happens when you don't hike or fish or bike or swim or play. I did visit the Austin hotsprings though, so that was an activity if not very active. At any rate, I made small strides. I had meant to go to yoga tonight. I really miss it. The thing with yoga is that I get really really frustrated when I'm there. I can...

I hate being fat. I hate trying to not be fat. I hate the process. I hate that it never has an end result. I hate not being able to afford the things that work. I hate it.

What a 3 day weekend. There were far too many calories by alcohol. And far too much neglecting of the yoga class. I mentioned that I danced at Darren's dirty thirty. Sunday Paul and I went to my parents and freed my piano for the vortex. The poor dear thing needs to be completely refinished and the panel that's above the keyboard cover and holds the music stand is completely broken. It may need some reconstructive surgery. Yesterday I kidnapped Coover and Frannie and took them to the sakery. I think SakeOne is probably one of my favorite places to just be. It's an adorable facility, there's a cute porch and a cute picnic area. A really cool japanese mural painted on the side of the factory. It's just lovely. Problem is that I have made no effort to establish the number of points that sake costs. I kind of feel like there are some things that I just want to enjoy without having to worry about my weight all the time. Sake is one of those things. Then again, I kind of ...