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Better

Sorry for the woe is me post. I get really lonely sitting by myself in the evenings with Paul off to work swing. I recharge when I'm around people. When I'm not around people, I get depressed and hopeless and angsty. At any rate, I ended up watching the biggest lose, which I never watch because it seems so unrealistic, and they were challenged to run a 26 mile marathon. And I'm looking at these people who have all lost more weight than me and are still heavier than I am run 26 miles. TWENTY SIX MILES. So I decided to put on my tennis shoes and try to make a lap around my complex parking lot. It's probably less than a quarter mile. I managed to run probably 3/4 of the way but I had to stop and walk after that. The cold combined with my asthma and my bad shape had me feeling pretty awful. My inhaler is kind of old too so it didn't really alleviate my horrible burning lungs and throat. But I did it. And this morning and got up and did it again. My throat still burns, but I'm going to do it again tomorrow too. This is my new thing. If I can just do this every day without fail.

I realized something today as well when I was teaching one of my students. I was telling her how she needed to practice a new skill so she didn't forget how to do it and even now I've lost most of the German I worked so hard to learn. And I realized, getting myself into shape is like learning a language. You have to keep at it your whole life if you want it to be consistent. The second you stop working on it, you start to lose it. That's just how life is. I think I had this realization already before, but it kind of punched me in the face when I had to be the adult and give advice to my student.

So thanks for the kind words. The best thing I've found when I'm lonely is to hear from people that I know care about me, even if they're not here. You have no idea how much it matters.

Comments

  1. ShelliceDecember 3, 2009 at 8:35 AM

    Congrats for the run around your complex :) You'll feel better and better each time you do it. Everyone has their "off" days.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Miller MomentsDecember 3, 2009 at 3:17 PM

    The thing that is tough too Beth is our family genes don't help! The women in our family all have kind of the same shape-regardless of how much we weigh...we all put our weight in the same spot! I'm proud of you though, you keep fighting for this and you CAN do it!

    ReplyDelete

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