My Path to Outer Skinniness

Alright, when I wrote my last post I had hoped that this post would talk about how I started carrying Truvia packets in my purse and how I'd found naturally sweet alternatives to my refined sugar friends. Instead I humbly report that I've failed again. As of today I've somehow managed to gain 5 pounds as well. This is bad. This is really bad. Last summer I watched a marathon of Biggest Loser. I decided to make it a tradition. Nothing is quite as motivating as watching people twice my size work twice as hard as I do. The problem is that I sit there watching with tears in my eyes as these people work to make it happen for themselves and the reality is that I'm still sitting. I'm still having my mental hang ups. I'm still not believing I can do it, and I'm most definitely still stuck. I was thinking about the nature of exercise and it's purpose. Exercise is meant to keep us healthy so we can do more of the things we want to be able to do. Play with yo...

My taped up ankle.  About the only thing that is routine for me is my morning weigh in. I'm not gonna lie, I usually tinkle first so I weigh a little less. I always ball my fists to feel how bloated I am while I wait for me digital scale to asses my weight. 188.6 This is not what I wanted to see. Maybe I did have a ridiculously rich chocolate soufflé last night, but I should seriously be down more by now! It wouldn't even be so bad if I could finally fit into my size 14 pants, but that hasn't happened either. An entire wardrobe of useless size 14 clothing waits in a giant plastic bin for the day I finally shrink enough to fit in them. I ate a breakfast of leftover giant sushi, and a lunch of my remaining chocolate soufflé before going to physical therapy. I half contemplated canceling my appointment. But I decided to talk to my physical therapist, Tawnie, about my frustration instead. It occurred to me as I was driving that it's not her fault that I haven't ...

Last night as I was debating about whether to eat more food or not I started to think about the olympics and what the athletes must have to sacrifice in order to reach their goal of olympic gold. There's one commercial in particular that really makes the point that shows the perspective of the athletes as they perform their sports and state how they have not read a book, watched a tv show, or eaten at a restaurant in years. I wanted to post the video but I couldn't find it. I'll post it if I do. My goals may not be as lofty or as difficult as an olympic hopeful. I'm not in any rush to become a great athlete. But I do relate to having something I want - to be a healthy weight. It's something I've wanted for years. Since I was a teenager. For something I've wanted for so long, I certainly haven't sacrificed much to get it. Over and over again I've chosen things that hold me back. Sure, I can have cheese fries once in a great while, but it's not...